Grief, Transitions, Widowhood

WE HAVE SERVED OUR GENERATION

I recently went on a trip to Pennsylvania. It was midwinter and there were thick snow drifts alongside the main road.  The magic of the winter wonderland was not lost on me and I wanted to take photographs.  Passing a cemetery, I looked at the rows of graves covered in snow, with the wind blowing snow across the desolate landscape.  Immediately I thought of the finality and coldness of death. People long gone planted beneath the frozen sod, covered in a blanket of snow.  And yet this picture gave me hope as well.

In Psalm 116, the psalmist says, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is his loved ones, he does not let them lightly die.”  This has certainly been a comfort to me when beloved family and friends have died.  Paul also said in Acts 13:36 “For David, after he had served his generation according to the will of God, he died and was buried.” We all have a God given purpose to serve our generation, leaving our footprint in the hearts of our family and friends. When our time is done and our work is complete, we are called home to our eternal rest.

We certainly have questions when a loved one is called suddenly, but it is not why they are called we should question, but how can we use this suffering to be healed in our hearts and how can we help others to heal who have been through this experience?  My pastor told me Christ is unveiled in suffering when my fiancée took his own life. The suffering he went through with depression and the pain he left for his family to work through as he left this earth has enabled me to have compassion for those facing similar situations. The long journey through illness and dementia of my late husband taught me so much about having patience and the trauma caregivers have to work through, caring for their loved ones.

These experiences have certainly given me the insight and the compassion to walk with others through this rough patch on their journey of life.

Job certainly had a lot of grief to process in his life. Job 24:19 He said, “Death consumes sinners as drought and heat consume snow.” Looking at the graveyard deeply covered in snow, I could imagine the time when the sun would melt the snow and the grass would grow green and plants and trees in the graveyard would start to send out shoots. Job also said ( Job 37:6 } For he directs the snow, the showers, and storms to fall upon the earth. and cause the grain to grow and to produce seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry”.  Yes, when the coldness of death and grief has been processed those green shoots of life begin to grow as we take up life again.  This is also a time for growing in new directions and being able to produce a crop of goodness that will feed others.

This journey of grief takes time and maybe you are starting to feel the green shoot stirring in your heart and would like to pick up the pieces of your life again.  if you would like me to walk with you through this stage of your life, please get in contact with me through my web page http://www.crossingmybridges.com, I would love to give you a map and guide posts to help you find your way.

Divorce, Grief, Retirement, Transitions, Widowhood

YOUR JOURNEY THROUGH TRANSITIONS

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From the day we are born to the day we die we are on a journey called LIFE! We will experience many things on this journey both happy and sad, some things we had a choice in and others that were done to us.  We will have learned many things, intellectually, physically and spiritually which have left an emotional footprint in our hearts.

I have been through the University of Life and have experienced the trauma of divorce and widowhood, I have had to move countries and adapt to different culture four times and now I have retired am moving into the second half of life, I also managed an old age home and learned how the final years of your life’s journey need to be planned.

With all this in mind I have designed a map to chart the pathway through these difficult transitions.  Allow me to hold your hand and guide you through your difficult places. Download the Map and Questionnaire here and feel free to reach out to me.

Your adventurous guide and mentor

Deryn

Transitions

NEW EVERY MORNING

As January draws to a close, my vision is cast for the new year and plans are made to achieve my goals.  This is a relatively new practice for me. Maybe this is a new practice for you too.  It was only about five years ago when I realized that if you truly set your mind to achieve your goals by writing them down and formulating a plan to get there, you actually made progress. I had always made ‘resolutions’ or even a five year plan, but not actually set it down.

Any new practice takes time to learn and a dedication to yourself to achieve it, sometimes it is really hard, and you want to give up, at other times you press the pause button and let yourself catch up with life.  There are no rules, you are setting the pace.  But as I was meditating on the newness of this year and my plans, I realized that Scripture mentions new things that God is going to do, and that give me a lot of hope, have they happened yet? Some have and some I am still waiting for, so if God is not in a hurry, I can give myself some slack too!

His lovingkindness and faithfulness begin anew every day (Lam:23), so even if we messed up yesterday, today is a brand-new day in His love and faithfulness. We are a new creation (2 Cor 5:7) so our past does not define us.  We have an opportunity every day to move forward in our new life. He gave us a new heart (Ez 36:26). How many of us have had our hearts broken? Yes, that new creation brings healing to our broken hearts and makes them new and ready to beat strongly again. And we will be given a new name (Rev 2:17).  My name is Deryn and many times I have wished I could have a new name as my name is hard for people to grasp.  But when I found out it actually means little bird in Welsh, I embraced it as a little bird has freedom to fly where she will, not constrained by any encumbrances, God gives us freedom from the past and gives us a new song to sing (Ps 40:3) He then makes us into New Wine with the fruit of our labors (Is 36:17).

Life is a journey and it does take time to implement your plans and reach your goals, but the journey is where you are being given these new things and are learning new skills and practices that take you nearer to your destination.

I have a map  and questionnaire I created to help guide you through life’s transitions and I would be happy to walk with you on your journey.  Contact me if you would like me to be your guide.

Transitions

WRITE DOWN THE VISION

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January is the time for new beginnings, we often make New years Resolutions or set our goals for the year. There is something special about being able to say goodbye to the past year with all its trials and tribulations, its joys and celebrations.

I love to turn to the first page of my new planner, it is blank, I am the one who chooses to write down how I would like my year to proceed.  Sometimes we think we are controlled by our circumstances.  Circumstances certainly play their part, but if we have a vision and a plan for what we would like our life to be like , we can also use our circumstances to proceed down our chosen path, it may well be a detour, but from this vantage point you may have an even greater vision for what life could be like.

I love the words of Habakkuk the prophet “Write down the vision on tablets……For the vision is yet for an appointed time; it hastens towards the goal. It won’t happen right away”.  This is the purpose of writing the vision and goals down as they take a long time to mature and come to pass, if they are written down you won’t forget them, and you will have a plan and a map to where you need to go, regardless of the circumstances.  Habakkuk was between rock and hard place at the time he wrote that down, as the Lord had said there was going to be a time of great suffering and hardship before the vision came to pass. “even though the fig tree will not blossom and there be no fruit on the vine, yet will I rejoice in the God of my Salvation”.  Through the hard times Habakkuk kept his faith that God would bring it to pass.

January is a time of transitions for many as you face changed circumstances, changes in a career that results in moving to a new place.  It could be that you have just retired or are facing health problems that make it difficult to live independently. A divorce or death of a partner means taking up life again as a singleton and coming to terms with all that this loss involves.

We are not put on earth to do life alone, times can be hard and lonely. It helps to have a few guideposts and tips for the journey from someone who has travelled the road before you.  I have designed a map to help people moving through transitions and am happy to help you.

I have had to move countries and careers four times, I have been both divorced and widowed and have managed Retirement Housing and helped the elderly through to their end of life, this has given me a wealth of experience in managing Transitions and I would be happy to help you.

Download my free Map and Questionnaire. If you would like to have further help, the first module on the Transitions Process available.